Monday, May 5, 2014

Blonde Adam Levine? I say no.

So in honor of what People Magazine's Sexiest Man Alive just did to his hair, I give you 16 other men that are significantly less sexy as blondes. Granted, I know that I lot of these dye jobs were done for films, and I'm all in favor of experimenting for fun, but heaven forbid the American male population actually thought this was a good idea. Don't get me wrong, I love some natural looking, sun-kissed highlights on a man. I can show you a million pictures of Brad Pitt with blonde highlights that are definitely worth drooling over. But bleached blondes and brassy blondes are just not sexy on most men. And boys, if you do get the idea to go a bit lighter for the summer, please let a professional do it. I can't tell you how many guys I've met that have turned their hair all shades of orange using sun-in and other at home products.

Now keep in mind that all of the men below were either on People's Sexiest Man list or that of another magazine. All these comments are in good fun, so don't get mad at me if you're president of one of their fan clubs. They are all still sexy, but...

adam levine with blond hair, blonde hair
Adam Levine. At least his color looks even. Sideburns are sometimes more difficult to lift because the hair is more corse.  A little red lipstick and quick shave and we're looking at Miley Cyrus. 

benedict cumberbatch with blonde hair, blond hair
Benedict Cumberbatch. I feel like this one is pretty obvious. It's amazing how bad hair can transform this normally shaggy and adorable Brit.  

brad pitt with blonde hair, blond hair
Brad Pitt. Like I said, there are plenty of times when Brad has looked great with blonde hair, but this all-over bleached style makes him look like a Ken doll. 

channing tatum with blonde hair, blond hair
Channing Tatum. This blonde is almost green...

ethan hawke blonde hair, blond hair
Ethan Hawke. While blond is usually softening on women, sometimes it can have the opposite effect on men. He looks a bit scary. 

freddie prinze jr blonde hair, blond hair
Freddie Prinze, Jr. Again, Ken doll. 

jackson rathbone blonde hair, blond hair
Jackson Rathbone. Now Jackson Rathbone is adorable and his blonde isn't all that bad, but it does wash him out and looks a little over-processed. 

james franco blonde hair, blond hair
James Franco. I can't even stretch and call this strawberry - it's orange. =(

jared leto blonde hair, blond hair
Jared Leto. He's been a pretty blonde; this is perhaps not his best. It's a unique look for sure, but the eyebrows definitely take it to another level. Kind of a runway look. 

javier bardem blonde hair, blond hair
Javier Bardem. Normally totally sexy with a swoon-inducing accent and mischevious eyes; the blonde hair transformed him into a very memorable Bond villain. 

johnny depp blonde hair, blond hair
Johnny Depp. Here is another incredibly sexy actor who has had some subtle blond highlights in the past that totally worked on him. But this color is all kinds of wrong. The tone makes his eyebrows look grey and his skin look jaundice. 

justin timberlake blonde hair, blond hair
Justin Timberlake. Oh teenage Justin Timberlake how I loved thee. We all make color mistakes - I'm sure we won't see him going back to this look. With the jacket he is pretty much entirely one color from head to hips. 

michael fassbender blonde hair, blond hair
Michael Fassbender. Meh. Not terrible, but a bit Baywatch none-the-less. 

peter facinelli blonde hair, blond hair
Peter Facinelli. Here's another poor actor tragically washed out by a Twilight movie. Facinelli along with Rathbone, Nikki Reed, and Kellan Lutz, were all given less than spectacular blonde looks for their roles in the Cullen Family.

robert downey jr blonde hair, blond hair
Robert Downey, Jr. I don't know what this was for, but the look is very high-maintenance. Ladies generally aren't looking for a man who spends more time on his hair than they do. 

ryan gosling blonde hair, blond hair
Ryan Gosling. Let's call this "disheveled Ken doll."

ryan reynolds blonde hair, blond hair
Ryan Reynolds. Sexy guy, but let your wife be the blonde in the family. Any shorter with the cut and he could enter an Eminem look-a-like contest.

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